Five Steps for Feeling Confident

Confidence is something that a lot of people naturally have or don't have, but just because confidence comes naturally to others it doesn't mean that you will never be a confident person. I have always struggled with confidence and in the past it has stopped me from so many amazing opportunities and has hindered both my professional and personal life. When I was at school I used to suffer from panic attacks when asked to do presentations or read out loud as I often felt judged and making friends was difficult. When I finished high school my confidence was so low that I didn't think I was good enough to go to university like all my friends and instead I did a hairdressing course when what I really wanted to study was journalism.

Luckily for me my hairdressing career wasn't a complete waste of time. I managed to qualify as a hairdresser and most importantly build enough confidence to enroll on a media course and pursue my dream career. Fast forward five years and I have a job that I love, my blog is getting bigger and better each day and I'm a lot more willing to take on things that are out of my comfort zone. Why did hairdressing give me confidence? It put me in situations where I had to challenge myself - people put a lot of trust in you when it comes to cutting hair and if you can survive that, a phone call or a mini presentation seems like a breeze, it also made me talk to people on a regular basis whether it be face to face or on the phone and finally, I was given a project where I had to design an informative leaflet for my salon and everyone loved it so much that it gave me confidence in my writing and design skills. I'm not the most confident person in the entire world, but nowadays I do have the confidence to successfully run a blog, pitch ideas to my work colleagues and be able to meet new people and hold a conversation.

During my journey to find my own inner confidence, I decided to abide by these five valuable life skills and they really helped changed my life.

1. Challenge Yourself

Part of being confident is going out of your comfort zone and learning how to deal with sticky situations. The more you realise that you have nothing to fear, the more your confidence grows. If you're scared of using the phone - challenge yourself to make one phone call a week to someone new, if you don't like travelling take a small bus ride somewhere on your own until you get enough confidence to go further. I have learnt that you cannot go from being shy to confident overnight, but if you take baby steps every single week you will eventually get close.

2. Be Proud of Yourself
Be proud of your achievements whether they are big or small and keep telling yourself how amazing you are doing. When I'm feeling anxious I sit in front of my mirror and say 'you can do this'. It may sound a little bit crazy, but thinking about all your previous achievements shows that you have accomplished so much so far, there's nothing stopping you from achieving more.

3. Don't be afraid of Failure
Unfortunately failure is a big part of life and sometimes failure is inevitable. The way to look at it is that lessons are learnt from failure and sometimes failure is life's way of trying to make you a stronger person and paving the way for something bigger and better in your life. I failed my driving test twice before passing and I thought it was the end of the world. However looking back I feel a much more confident driver than I would have been passing first time and because I've learnt from previous mistakes i'm much more cautious and in fact safer than I would have been.

4. Don't care what other people think

This is probably one of the hardest lessons you will ever learn and no matter how hard we tell ourselves not to think about other peoples opinions, it is human nature to care. However one of the best things to do to boost your confidence is not to care what other people think. If you're in an interview situation tell yourself that you might not even see this person again and if you do, it's probably because they actually like you and if you're on the phone - who cares, they cannot even seen you. In life there will be lovers and haters and you cannot please everyone, just be yourself and the people that want to be around you are the people you should be spending time caring about.

5. Be Yourself
Be passionate about things you care about, don't change yourself for anyone and love yourself just the way you are. 

Have you ever struggled with your confidence?



  1. These are fantastic tips. It can be really hard to build confidence and believe in who we are.....but it is possible!

  2. I totally agree with all of these, especially about not caring about what others think xxx

  3. Brilliant tips. This year it's one of my resolutions to stay positive about everything and so far I think it's working!
    <3 Jon |

  4. Great post, Jess! Those are some brilliant tips... I have always struggled with my (complete lack of) self-confidence. I guess finding out I was different from everyone else from a young contributed to that a lot... and I know for a fact that no one should ever suffer from these conditions. Luckily for me, blogging and opening up my own little world to the supportive readers has helped me feel more secure about myself.

    Staying positive, don't be unnecessarily harsh on yourself and giving yourself credit wherever it's due is definitely my suggestion and my way of overcoming confidence issues!

    Oliver //

  5. You have got some really good tips here. I think believing in yourself is one of the most important qualities to have.

  6. There are so many good tips here. I hate public speaking but have to do it quite regularly and its a challenge to do it, but I always do x

  7. Such great tips! Being a hairdresser really boosted my confidence loads, at first it was a front I could put on for my clients but I soon realised it was directly crossing over into my personal life which was great xx

    Charli | Beauty and Lifestyle Blogger at CHARLI B

  8. these are great tips! i am in general a confident person on the professional level but I struggle in believing in myself in personal relationships. Remembering the good things definitely help!!
    Alice | Alice's Beauty Madness


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