Confidence isn't something that comes naturally to me. Some people have that ability to run up to strangers and talk for hours, I often shy away and quickly develop thoughts about how I look. Am I too fat? Does my face look too round? Okay, I know, I'm dressed like an idiot today aren't I? My ex boyfriend would constantly criticize me and say that 'I make the human race sound very discriminative' as I would always think people are analysing every aspect of my body when we first meet. In reality, all the voices in my head are just the little insecurities that nag me on a daily basis. Granted, someone will have walked past me one day and thought 'gosh, she's a little weird looking', but not everyone thinks the same. Since starting University and getting engaged to an amazing man who makes me feel like a million dollars on a daily basis, my confidence has dramatically improved.. Some would say I'm a completely changed person, but to be fair, I'm still quite shy and often reserved, I've just learnt that to progress in my life, sometimes we need to adapt a protective shield and embrace who we are. If people don't like who you are as a person, they are not worth knowing. To quote Mr Kurt Cobain, the former lead singer of rock band Nirvana: "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for someone I'm not."
Christmas is supposed to be the time of fun and laughter, but for women, there's a little added pressure to slim down into that Little Black Dress and look immaculate for party season. Confidence can take a huge hit at Christmas and when you're eating so much, you can suddenly feel like you're the Christmas turkey. This was the Christmas I wanted to feel the best about myself. Last year I was getting used to my slimmer body after losing weight - I was playing around with dresses and trying to discover what suited my new figure. I've now had a year to adapt and finally ready to have fun this festive season. Last week, I was asked to model for a friend who's a photographer. The old me would have probably shuddered and decided it wasn't the best idea, but I decided to embrace it as I thought it would be a lovely way to show you all my new dress, get some professional images for my blog and have a lovely day catching up with my old tutor. I'm definitely not a model, but I had so much fun doing all the modelling malarkey.
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Here's some of the photographs taken on the day. The blue sequinned dress is by my favourite brand French Connection and can be bought for £165. This 'Samantha dress' was purchased as a Christmas treat for myself. I love this outfit, because it covers all my insecurities and leaves me with a slimline silhouette. When I tried it on for the first time at my local House of Fraser, I knew this dress was definitely made for my body.
I feel like I resemble a chipmunk in this photograph, but I love the colours in my shirt. This blouse was bought from H&M and was part of the Lana Del Rey range. She is one of my favourite modern singers and I'd definitely consider her as one of my style influences.
Doing this photo shoot made me realise that although I'm not perfect, I'm not that bad either. I love my hair, my body is quite curvy and my eyes never fail to stand out. To live a happy life, we all need to look at our imperfections and realise that it's what makes us unique, a one of a kind model and perfect in our own little way.
Photo credits: John Coombes - BikeShed Digital Media
What do you think of the photographs?
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